1.02.2013

New Year - More Blogging

So I wanted to start a new blog... as I clicked on create new, all the domain names I wanted or could think of were taken, so I guess I am sticking with victoriah4.blogspot.com.

I used to write in a journal all the time, like seriously, at least 5 times a week.  I have boxes and boxes of journals from when I first started when I was 12 years old.  I stopped writing in a journal consistently when i was probably 21 or so.  7 years of my life have not been documented and it makes me sad.  Journaling for me was a release, but I always wanted to be able to look at back how where I was and how far I have come.  It saddens me that I let those 7 years disappear.

Blogging for me used to be about posting pictures, writing about vacations, for everyone to look at.  I don't want this blog to be that way anymore.  I want it to be for me and for my family.  I am inspired by a fellow blogger whom I have never met, but blogs at least once a week, then orders a blog book a year as a reminder to her and her family of important events that took place that year.  That is what I want.  I want to have a yearbook of a blog to remind me of everything that took place through out the year.

New Years Resolutions are constantly broken.  I want to try to make this blog a goal, not a resolution, to document the important events in my life.  I want to try to blog at least once a week.  That is my goal, not my resolution, for 2013.

So here goes nothing...

2013.  Happy New Year.

In 2012, I went through a lot.  There were a lot of ups and downs, struggles, tears of joy and tears of sadness.  I will say, on New Years Eve, I looked back at my year.  For probably the first time in my life things were all starting to make sense and line up the way I have always dreamed.

My entire life, all I have ever wanted was to be a mom and have a family.  As my dad has told me, "I always thought you would be the first kid to be married and have kids."  28 years later, I am not married, and I do not have any biological children.  I say that because even though I am not married and have not birthed a child, I have a family.  I have a wonderful boyfriend who has a wonderful family, and I have the sweetest four year old that I consider my son.  I have my own family and I couldn't be more blessed.

Things in my life are starting to make sense.

I always wanted to be the "career woman".  I am more independent than I wish I was.  I work, I pay my bills, and I take care of myself.  However, I now not only have myself to worry about.  I have two boys that I worry about every day.  I can't just do what I want to do... I don't want to.  I want to take care of the two people in my life that make me excited to wake up every morning.  I get to be a mother.

I am so blessed.

This year will be a good one.  I know what I want in my life and I know where I want to go and what I want to be.  I want to be a mother, a strong, confident girlfriend to my boyfriend.  I want to be me.  I want to be a good person.  I want to give, be selfless, be grateful, be thoughtful.  I want to be kind and loving.  I want to be me.  I have changed so much in the past year, for the better.  I want to keep taking steps forward to fully becoming the woman that I have always wanted to be.  I am on the right track.  I am getting to my ultimate goal.  Victoria, have patience and thank god for everything he has put into your life and for giving you all that you have.

I will tell myself that every day.  I will become a better person.  I will love more, forgive, and be the best I can be.  This is my year.

So to that, I will be back.  No pictures ringing in the New Year just yet... that will come.  I just wanted to start this year out like I would with any journal, just talking to my computer.

Happy New Year to my friends and most importantly my family.  Not just the family I have here in California, but my immediate family.  I love you all so much and miss you every day.

I hope this goal will let itself be solved without any hiccups.  I stride to make this my year and I want to look back on January 2, 2014 and say, Victoria, you did it and you can read all about it for the rest of your life, your kids lives, and so on.

Till next time, V

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